Lyrics

Saw you screaming, way in the back of the crowd
Lips are moving as I read every word aloud
Piggy backin' on the shoulders of another
Shirt in one hand, bra in the other

And she said:
Can I touch it?
Can I stroke it?
No it's not so weird
Suckin' on this beard
Ain't got nothin' to fear
Suckin' on this beard

Paid a visit to the best whore house in Beaumont
Lightning struck me twice, and I say so what?
She walked in the room and whispered, "Goddammit,
It's Billy G, the Bearded Bandit"

And she said:
Can I touch it?
Can I stroke it?
No it's not so weird
Suckin' on this beard
Ain't got nothin' to fear
Suckin' on this…

I know it's crazy, and kinda weird
But last night you was suckin' on Billy G's beard
I know it's crazy, and also weird
Suckin' on Billy G's beard

So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it
Up and down the Mississippi they're hip to it
I guess they all found out by word of mouth
They're all headin' north, ain't headin' down south
You know what I'm sayin'

Can I touch it?
Can I stroke it?
No it's not so weird
Suckin' on this beard
Ain't got nothin' to fear
Suckin' on this beard
No!